Tuesday, February 24, 2009
im not going to lie, im a little jealous reading booty's blog and seeing how much she has to write and whenever i get on this thing, i have no idea what to say. like, im sure i do more than she does - but yet she can write paragraphs about it. kudos girl, kudos.
Today is a good day. i have the afternoon off. this barely happens. it's beautiful out! 69 degrees and sunny.
In case y'all dont know, one of my jobs is to homeschool my next-door neighbor's child. Her name is breanna. i also sometimes work with her brother, ben. They're the most social kids i've ever met. breanna is 9 and ben is 11.
see - i write stuff and now i feel like it's boring.
i am looking for another job. there's a salon opening downstairs from my apartment complex that i hear is hiring a receptionist, also i might work at american apparel. it's rough getting around this city. so much traffic and the busses take FOREVER. i miss chicago a whole lot. i miss kyle a lot too. him and i dont really speak anymore. i feel positive about moving out here to LA to be on my own and figure out my life, but i still haven't decided if it was the best decision. it's been really hard so far, not only finacially but with all my roommates, and getting off my medication, everything at once is so difficult to overcome.
I also feel like i need to work towards something. I feel like i need to be creative or studying or SOMETHING. I hate just working and not working towards something. i want to be in school, but i can't afford that right now and i want to pain and decorate my house, but i can't afford that right now either. i want a job that actually means something (sure the homeschooling does a little bit, but not enough to fill the void) i never hang out with anyone, when i do i get bitter and go home. it's a bad routine. im constantly trying to figure out how to be happier and more constructive in my head, but it's so hard. especially not having enough time. and im wasting my time with jobs that don't pay enough.
i would love to move, but i can't becuase i can't afford to move out. if i even found someone to sublet my room, i wouldn't be able have money to put a down payment somewhere. i owe my roommates money, i am a bad friend. bhalbhalbha...
i hate that this is so negative. sorry guys.
now i have to go sell my clothes in order to buy lola food.